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Pogue's Posts - The Latest in Technology From David Pogue ========================================================= ---------------------------------------------------------------------
February 28, 2008, 12:47 pm How Dangerous Is the Internet for Children? -------------------------------------------
A few years ago, a parenting magazine asked me to write an article about the dangers that children face when they go online. As it turns out, I was the wrong author for the article they had in mind. The editor was deeply disappointed by my initial draft. Its chief message was this: “Sure, there are dangers. But they’re hugely overhyped by the media. The tales of pedophiles luring children out of their homes are like plane crashes: they happen extremely rarely, but when they do, they make headlines everywhere. The Internet is just another facet of socialization for the new generation; as always, common sense and a level head are the best safeguards.”
My editor, however, was looking for something more sensational. He asked, for example, if I could dig up an opening anecdote about, say, an eight-year-old getting killed by a chat-room stalker. But after days of research—and yes, I actually looked at the Google results past the first page—I could not find a single example of a preteen getting abducted and murdered by an Internet predator. So the editor sent me the contact information for several parents of young children with Internet horror stories, and suggested that I interview them. One woman, for example, told me that she became hysterical when her eight-year-old stumbled onto a pornographic photo. She told me that she literally dove for the computer, crashing over a chair, yanking out the power cord and then rushing her daughter outside.
You know what? I think that far more damage was done to that child by her mother’s reaction than by the dirty picture. See, almost the same thing happened at our house. When my son was 7 years old, he was Googling “The Incredibles” on the computer that we keep in the kitchen. At some point, he pulled up a doctored picture of the Incredibles family, showing them naked.
“What…on… earth?” he said in surprise. I walked over, saw what was going on, and closed the window. “Yeah, I know,” I told him. “Some people like pictures of naked people. The Internet is full of all kinds of things.” And life went on.
My thinking was this: a seven-year-old is so far from puberty, naked pictures don’t yet have any of the baggage that we adults associate with them. Sex has no meaning yet; the concept produces no emotional charge one way or another. Today, not only is my son utterly unscarred by the event, I’m quite sure he has no memory of it whatsoever.
Now, I realize that not everybody shares my nonchalance. And again, it’s not hard to find scattered anecdotes about terrible things that happen online. But if you live in terror of what the Internet will do to your children, I encourage you to watch this excellent hour long PBS “Frontline” documentary. (I learned about it in a recent column by Times media critic Virginia Heffernan).
It’s free, and it’s online in its entirety. The show surveys the current kids-online situation—thoroughly, open-mindedly and frankly. Turns out I had it relatively easy writing about the dangers to children under age 12; this documentary focuses on teenagers, 90 percent of whom are online every single day. They are absolutely immersed in chat, Facebook, MySpace and the rest of the Web; it’s part of their ordinary social fabric to an extent that previous generations can’t even imagine.
The show carefully examines each danger of the Net. And as presented by the show, the sexual-predator thing is way, way overblown, just as I had suspected. Several interesting interview transcripts accompany the show online; the one with producer Rachel Dretzin goes like this: “One of the biggest surprises in making this film was the discovery that the threat of online predators is misunderstood and overblown. The data shows that giving out personal information over the Internet makes absolutely no difference when it comes to a child’s vulnerability to predation.” (That one blew my mind, because every single Internet-safety Web site and pamphlet hammers repeatedly on this point: never, ever give out your personal information online.)
“Also, the vast majority of kids who do end up having contact with a stranger they meet over the Internet are seeking out that contact,” Ms. Dretzin goes on. “Most importantly, all the kids we met, without exception, told us the same thing: They would never dream of meeting someone in person they’d met online.” Several teenagers interviewed in the story make it clear that only an idiot would be lured unwittingly into a relationship with an online sicko: “If someone asks me where I live, I’ll delete the ‘friend.’ I mean, why do you want to know where I live at?” says one girl.
Fearmongers often cite the statistic, from a 2005 study by the Crimes Against Children Research Center, that 1 in 7 children have received sexual propositions while online. But David Finkelhor, author of that report, notes that many of these propositions don’t come from Internet predators at all. “Considerable numbers of them are undoubtedly coming from other kids, or just people who are acting weird online,” he says. “Most of the sexual solicitations, they’re not that big a deal,” says another interview subject, Danah Boyd of Harvard’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society. “Most of it is the 19-year-old saying to the 17-year old, ‘Hey, baby.’ Is that really the image that we come to when we think about sexual solicitations? No. We have found kids who engage in risky behavior online. The fact is, they’ve engaged in a lot more risky behavior offline.”
As my own children approach middle school, my own fears align with the documentary’s findings in another way: that cyber-bullying is a far more realistic threat. Kids online experiment with different personas, and can be a lot nastier in the anonymous atmosphere of the Internet than they would ever be in person (just like grown-ups). And their mockery can be far more painful when it’s public, permanent and written than if they were just muttered in passing in the hallway. In any case, watch the show. You’ll learn that some fears are overplayed, others are underplayed, and above all, that the Internet plays a huge part in adolescence now. Pining for simpler times is a waste of time; like it or not, this particular genie is out of the bottle.
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From 1 to 25 of 98 Comments
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1. 1. February 28, 2008 1:33 pm Link Bravo!
Parental neurosis is FAR more detrimental to childhood development than the supposed ease at which the internet will corrupt the youth. I’m NOT saying there aren’t disturbing video’s akin to Faces of Death, or extreme sadomasochistic midget pr0n available on the internet. I’m just saying, if your child is naturally drawn to that content, the internet isn’t to blame, that just might be his thing… — LEE
2. 2. February 28, 2008 1:36 pm Link Thanks for writing this. I really think this whole everyone-and-everything-on-the-internet-is-evil era needs to end.
It’s just like any other potentially dangerous situation… don’t be an idiot, and you’ll probably be fine. — Troy McClure SF
3. 3. February 28, 2008 1:56 pm Link Thank you for the level-headed presentation. John Allen Paulos’ book “Innumeracy” comes to mind when reading things like this. The general public’s comprehension of numbers is so poor that subjects like this are clouded almost immediately. John Q Public cannot understand math, he cannot understand risk assessment, and he certainly cannot understand the profound changes taking place in communication and interaction as you described here. Without being able to put risks and rewards in perspective we just have more editors chasing plane crashes and predators: fodder for the front page for the math-challenged but little or nothing for those who wish to understand our world.
— B. Scott Andersen 4. 4. February 28, 2008 2:08 pm Link
I absolutely agree with your approach. Common sense and calm will do more good than paranoia and panic. — mozza
5. 5. February 28, 2008 2:09 pm Link Reason and logic in a teen internet use column.
Amazing. Please forward this to the Australian govt which is joining the ranks of China and censoring the internet “for the children.”
Censoring for the children is the weakest straw man argument possible. — HR
6. 6. February 28, 2008 2:19 pm Link Please interview that editor for the parenting magazine!
My hunch is that most, if not all, people wouldn’t be terrified on online predators if the editors of parenting magazines and the like weren’t trying to create that very panic. Media-created fear.
— chewbee 7. 7. February 28, 2008 2:20 pm Link
I totally agree — Dexter Tangocci
8. 8. February 28, 2008 2:22 pm Link This episode of Frontline, titled “Growing Up Online,” is also available for purchase from iTunes for $1.99. I hate watching streaming videos over the internet, and the downloaded iTunes version is definitely worth two dollars for me to be able to watch it on my own terms.
— BJ Nemeth 9. 9. February 28, 2008 2:52 pm Link
Great post – especially from someone so influential in the tech world. The Internet’s only as dangerous as everyday life is (which is not very) as far as I’m concerned, and that’s what I’ll be teaching my children. — tom
10. 10. February 28, 2008 3:05 pm Link Great article. As a director of a small public library, I am always amazed when I hear these unsubstantiated horror stories. They smack of internet hoaxes, yet every year we get state legislators who jump on this bandwagon. They try to ban MySpace from schools and libraries. Never mind that they have never been on the internet or assisted someone trying to file for unemployment compensation or find a tax form online. These are the same state legislators who wrote laws banning convicted sex offenders from schools, parks, or any place children assemble, but forgot to include public libraries. Maybe a big dose of healthy skepticism is needed with these reports.
— Douglas Losey 11. 11. February 28, 2008 3:13 pm Link
Speaking as the stepfather of a teenager who has been engaging in risky behaviors since age 10 (she’s 18 now), I think the main danger is that the internet allows kids to be “bad” all the time, not just when they’re out of the home and out of the range of parental control. The counterbalancing influences of home life and family are weakened, because even though kids may be physically home, they aren’t really there: they’re on the internet, continuing their bad habits virtually where they left them off physically in the street. The internet creates positive reinforcement for kids who are attracted to risky behavior; they will find a supportive environment that creates a sense of normalcy and acceptance around behaviors and beliefs that are far from normal or acceptable in society. — brad
12. 12. February 28, 2008 3:43 pm Link “You know what? I think that far more damage was done to that child by her mother’s reaction than by the dirty picture.”
THANK YOU, David. Great post, very thoughtful and intelligent. — Hannah
13. 13. February 28, 2008 4:02 pm Link Though I agree with the majority of what you wrote in your column regarding children and the internet (and obsessively paranoid parents), I’m not sure being so cavalier about its innocence is realistic.
I have a child that was pursued by an internet predator that really had to work hard to find as her information was hidden on MySpace. I worked with Federal and local authorities to get on this guy and it turns out my daughter wasn’t his first victim. Parents need to proceed with caution. There are a lot of sick people out there and what you call “idiot” children, are sometimes just naive. We’re working on that — and don’t assume they always tell you the whole story. Your child may be doing, or revealing, more than they truly tell you.
— Andrew 14. 14. February 28, 2008 4:07 pm Link
David - Please get back to me with your observations once you find your innocent middle-schooler viewing web-based images of beastiality and other “sexually-deviant” behavior, and then tell me that he or she won’t have baggage as he or she approaches sexually active adolescence. The enormous quantity and easy access for our children to highly inapropriate content is way too prevalent to merely dismiss in a passing comment of “some people like pictures of naked people. The Internet is full of all kinds of things.” At some point, you’re going to have to fact the fact that a more serious discussion with your child is in the very near future. — Glen Teitell
15. 15. February 28, 2008 4:19 pm Link Thanks for a well written and not sensational comment on the dangers of the internet to children. Hope to balance out all the negative comments.
— Jason Lenox 16. 16. February 28, 2008 4:20 pm Link
Thanks for adding some rationality to another wildly misunderstood genie bottle that has been opened by accident. David
— David Naunton 17. 17. February 28, 2008 4:22 pm Link
I agree that pornography and pedophiles are the not as great dangers as they have been made out to be… I think you missed a great opportunity to write about what’s truly destructive about the web for middle and high school students. Time. The internet, especially Facebook and Myspace and other social networking sites is they are time intensive and they are addictive. If people thought television was ruining the minds of children… social networking sites combined with sites like Youtube… now that is a recipe for potential disaster. Now, some people might argue that at least on the net they are ‘doing’ something. But, whatever that might be, it’s not learning to read or write complete sentences. omg lol does not count as professional communication… yet… gmwas (gag me with a spoon) – or as Cathy might have said, “AAK.” If I had 1/10 the time I spent trying to save time using a computer I could have a medical degree.
— joe suburbs 18. 18. February 28, 2008 4:26 pm Link
Suggest your readers e-mail the PBS link to their kids’ school principal. Will help reduce the hysteria. Bigger problem in my experience is kids stealing other kids’ screen names/passwords and sending nasties incognito. — Christopher Esse
19. 19. February 28, 2008 4:30 pm Link One must never lose sight of the fact that the business of a newspaper is, bottom line, to make a profit. If the printed equivalent of “If it bleeds, it leads.”, sells more newspapers, then that’s what you’re going to get.
How absolutely refreshing to read a column like this from David pointing out how terribly overblown and exaggerated are the stories about online predation. Nice job, Mr. Pogue, and please keep it up.
BB — BikerBob
20. 20. February 28, 2008 4:36 pm Link Perhaps a Part II is needed in this series: “How safe is the internet from the children” :-)
— 1001noisycameras 21. 21. February 28, 2008 4:39 pm Link
Much needed article. The media drama queens are expert at getting casual users outraged with anecdotal horror stories. We all should follow the kids’ examples. “Ain’t no big thing.” — arn mus
22. 22. February 28, 2008 4:42 pm Link Dave, I simply cannot agree with your nonchalance about pornography on the internet, especially as your children grow older. Sure, pornography is available in the real world, but there were social and physical barriers to accessing it. A kid had to make an effort to procure the material with some potential embarrassment. Nowadays, it’s all just a click away, and that’s a very hard choice for a teenager to make. Thus, kids become enmeshed in a culture of pornography and the objectification of women even before they’re old enough to understand what’s happening to them. And by that time, it’s too late. You cannot delete what’s in your brain as easily as you can delete your browsing history.
— Reuven Spolter 23. 23. February 28, 2008 4:44 pm Link
Next thing you’re going to tell us is that watching television doesn’t turn kids into serial killers and that rock and roll isn’t a ticket to damnation. It makes you wonder who profits from instilling these fears. Well, actually, it doesn’t take all that much wondering. — Seth Feldman
24. 24. February 28, 2008 4:50 pm Link David, Fantastic piece. I’m glad to see your rational judgment about the internet danger. I would be wondering what the over-reacting mother would do about her child’s sex education. An interesting read would be Sex Ed for the Stroller Set by JODI KANTOR . Although there are horror stories like: Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World , and ‘My Space’ hoax ends with suicide of Dardenne Prairie teen , I do believe they are very limited in no. As a parent of pre-teen, I think it is most important to teach children the difference between right and wrong as early as possible so that they can make right judgment when exposed to such dangers. They should be made aware of the dangers of the online world in a similar way to other earthly dangers of living as soon as possible, so that they can protect themselves. The other aspect would be the parent education. Parents also need to be as fluent as possible with the online world of Blogging, Myspace, Facebook etc. There is absolutely no pride in making statements like, “My daughter can figure out photo e-mailing better than me”. Please, it just makes you look dumb and creates a far lager generation gap with the next generation.
— Saumen Sarkar 25. 25. February 28, 2008 5:12 pm Link
Thank YOU David! It’s about time someone state the true nature of the situation, instead of perpetuating more fear. One of my favorite quotes is from Wayne Dyer, who said, “It’s no accident that the news is sponsored by anti-depressants.” Perhaps there should be a study and report on the overhyping and sensationalism by news organizations. Someone needs to hold them accountable for a change.
— John
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